Initially, when I revealed to friends about the existence of this blog, the common reaction involves two questions – What are you planning to do with it? and Why are you doing it for?. And quite honestly, my response to these questions is ‘Nothing’ and ‘For fun’. Now, after one year of updating this blog, I wonder of its significance to me and whether I should reflect on these two questions deeper.
From my very first post on The Beginnings, I was quite clearly motivated to start an individual exercise of sharing and introspection. The past decade was very much one of moving from country to country, career highs and lows, expanding my social network, getting married and bereavement. I’d accumulated something I never had before – a full life of my own, and I wanted to make sense of it, visually and thoughtfully. That was the extent of my intention and hope from this blog.
As I expected, initially, I couldn’t get enough of unleashing all that had been stored inside me both metaphorically and literally. Travel photos, private reflections, professional anecdotes all came tumbling down onto this WordPress. It felt natural and authentic, and I found myself enriched by this outlet. When the spillage dried out, I found myself forcing life observations out. There was a brief time when I felt I was experiencing life in order to upload onto this blog instead of the reverse, which disconcerted me. We are after all supposed to blog about life, not live to blog. So I took a step back and decided to type down my thoughts only when the desire called out to me, such as now, coming to a full year of keeping up with this practice, and so close to a landmark birthday.
What I think appeals to me most about blogging is putting a shape to your internal process and the cathartic release such a process offers. One of the more prominent aspects of life since my late 20s has been the humanitarian industry in which I’ve been engaged in. It’s been many years of navigating through uncomfortable juxtapositions in this modern age – that of being confronted, eyeball to eyeball, with persons of extreme deprivation, and one of watching the excesses of first-world capitalism displayed on social media. There were many tidbits of unresolved dilemmas that stuck in the lining of my memories, and blogging has been a healthy experience of decongestion and in some way, helping me develop a roadmap for a future me.
And so, I guess today, in answering the question of what am I planning to do with it and why I am doing it, I would say that I am planning to keep recording all that is meaningful to me in this online space as a way to keep me connected to my ideal life.