There are multiple aftermaths to our human condition once we have committed ourselves to a bond of love. This can include the anxiety at the potential of loss, and the grief of loss. As I get older I realise that so much that affects my life quality relates to love- of managing the fear of losing existing love, and healing from the passing of loved ones (the former being part of the latter). Am never sure if 15 years of working in an industry defined by human loss and suffering has corrupted my psychological DNA or whether I have always had a predeliction for all that is macabre. Perhaps it is as per always a combination of both.
Year after year we battled with our journey of childlessness and as we lose yet another and final fight against this destiny, I realised I was also closing another unexpected door of relief. The relief of not living in fear of losing a child or having some misfortune fall upon them. It was a disconcerting reinforcement that so much of my life has been about protecting myself from pain that staying in deprivation somehow also has palpable merits.
My other half’s motto has always been about nourishing the love that already exists in one’s world and embracing loss as part of life’s inevitable game of truth. So simple, so stoic and yet so unattainable for me. Is it finally time for me to evolve towards this light in order to live more fully, and more courageously?
Looking for The Higher Self 
Such important reflections about the grief that comes from fear of losing those we love. As a mother and grandmother, it’s always in the background, along with the realization that there’s little I can do to protect them from harm. Perhaps all we can do is live and love to the best of our ability in each moment
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Indeed that is the best way to live isnt it- giving the best of ourselves in the moment… thank you and hope you are in good health these days 🩵
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