It’s been two and a half months away from home and I recently noticed that I am intentionally protecting these emotional waves of nostalgia and not suppressing such futile feelings as I would usually do. Turning over thoughts of my favourite people and places, re-enacting visuals of my parents home, the kitchen, abundant meals at breakfast, my loved friends in loved restaurants in my mind’s eye.
And I realise that the last time I did this – holding on to memories of the past even when it hurt me- was when a beloved passed away. It got me to understand that sometimes we choose to stay in grief so that we can stay in love for something or someone no longer with us. One can say it’s even part of the healing process. Perhaps we should trust our intiution to self medicate, to know that to wallow from time to time is our own way of embracing pain only for it to be slowly demystified, reasoned with and eventually subside into a more meaningful wisdom. One can hope…
Looking for The Higher Self 
It’s natural to think about, and miss, those who were important in our lives. Even if they are gone, they remain important.
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True Neil. Important and never forgotten even as life keeps surging forward. Hope you’re well 🤲🏻
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That’s very moving, what you wrote.
“…sometimes we choose to stay in grief so that we can stay in love for something or someone no longer with us”
True, but at some point we must move on because that’s what our deceased loved ones would want for us. But I’ll tell you another way of staying in love: writing. Writing about my beloved (deceased) parents brought them alive again. I remember actually smiling and laughing out loud on occasion as I wrote anecdotes and funny stories that included them. It was a nice feeling.
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