A short reflection on the grim and macabre aspects of all that we avoid in life.
I think the only way we genuinely experience humility is through abject failures. I feel that life has a way of making you bow down to all that you were previously arrogant about, whether you manifested this arrogance publicly or whether you cloaked it beneath false self deprecation. Ultimately it was always lingering behind your eyes, colouring everything you saw and experienced. And then one day, that which you used to have secret pride for is removed from you, and you learn the deeper lesson of what it really means to be humble. You get off your pedestal, you own up to the fact that nothing you ever thought you had was truly yours, just a borrowed blessing. And you are forever changed from that failure, to stay close to the ground. I think every failure upgrades our morality, despite my profound fear and loathing for it.
Death of a beloved
By far, this is the biggest turning point in life. It is above and beyond any other major life experience. Many sleepless nights where the intense yearning for the love you have lost has no antidote and all your are left with are the possibilities of reunion, and what that could mean for your fate once on the other side. We are forced to reconcile with the immortality of existence, that every day we wake up to takes us closer to our end. The palpitations, the anxiety, the debilitating fear that flows from this realisation can take years to overcome. The only upside for it has been the renewed love I feel for those in my life. The death of loved ones has softened me to love more meaningfully, which is always a good thing.
When sitting in a beach in Koh Samui, we came across this flyer from a resort. A saying to inspire the Instagram generation and one which I reflect on every day. Unfortunately, when meditating on it, the only themes I was inspired to chew on was Failure and Death. Maybe these life themes were the only spaces where inspiration began for me…