Quite often life has been about embracing our own internal fortitude in solitude. After every episode of difficulty, the reiterating lesson is often the realisation that while love and companionship are blessings, an honest lesson of evolution is one that requires us to dig inside our own internal resources for elevation. How do we live this life balancing between the need to protect and nurture our strength and independence, while at the same time staying vulnerable and open to needing another/ others? I admit, I quite often romanticize the notion of being a lone wolf. The one that lives without hoping for another’s approval or affection, the one that can walk through the world unharmed by the sacrifice and vulnerability of intimacy. In reality, it is less an Indiana Jones exotic life one will live but that of saving for an old folks retirement home, of seeing the lives of your contemporaries full of legacies and companionship while you return to your books and journals and causes you believe in. Will that be so empty and meaningless a life? Or will it be one that can produce its own contentment and satisfaction? Is it possible to find value outside how our own DNA is programmed to function? The prayer is of course, to be ready, for whatever it is that life throws at you. To find beauty and power, in your present life, even when it doesn’t look like the picture you had in your head. Being partnered to another means nothing if it is ultimately, a profoundly dysfunctional relationship. Having children can cause endless sorrow when the conditions of your family are toxic and unfulfilling. Being part of a large community and network can be suffocating and hollow if it’s not based on something valuable and enduring. With Sakamoto’s ‘Solitude’ in my ears, I keep wondering about this constantly shifting formula of our inner state of being. The fact is, we entered this world and will depart from it in solitude. Everything else in between is merely a distraction, isn’t it.. an anesthetic to numb the inherent loneliness of life.